One of those days

We woke up this morning to fog. The kind that hangs thickly in the sky, coating the sidewalks and roads to make them icy. It's almost noon and I've yet to see the sun or the mountains that surround our town. I can't even see some of the houses below us on the hill. Looking out my window and not really being able to see is disconcerting.

The weather seems to match my mood pretty well today, however.  I am troubled. I am saddened and I admit I am a bit weepy. I had a dream last night that basically boiled down to Kera being stolen from me in the church bathroom. I realized too late that she'd been taken and ran, screaming down the hall to catch "That lady who stole my kid". But no one was in time. Out we ran to a driveway that was set up like a winding, pretzeling race track to try to run to catch up to the car. I was crying and screaming and  clenching my hands into fists in my dream. I woke up and my hands were asleep, as if I'd been clenching them in real life as well. 

As a mom, that was definitely a nightmare. And yet, there is a family right now living in the sleepy little town that I once called home that is actually living that nightmare. A high school teacher went out for a job Saturday morning and no one has seen her since. Hundreds of folks in the town are searching for her and all that's been found is her shoe. I don't know her because we moved away before I hit high school, I could've had her husband as an English teacher in middle school. But it's still troubling. Sidney is a small town and a majority of my extended family lives there. It's scary to think something like this could happen there. I keep praying that she'll be found and be okay, but part of me doubts that there will be a happy ending to this.

So there's that. Then I also have a dear friend who is struggling with some major health stuff. Stuff that is keeping her from her job, from church, from the things in life she enjoys. She's been hanging in there, though, and has a bit more to hang in before she can see some experts who will hopefully have some answers for her. I have hope and faith that God will heal her, but I realized yesterday how much I miss seeing her and our deep talks about life. So, she's weighing rather heavily on my heart right now.

And then, last but not least, is a conversation that I need to have with another friend. I've put it off for awhile because I just didn't want to do it. I think maybe I hoped the issue would just fade into life and I could move on. But, it hasn't and because I have a conviction about this and because I love her enough to talk to her about it, I'm going to do it. It won't be easy for me and I'm hopeful that she'll take it well, but there's no way to know.

My heart is heavy with all this today, just like the sky is heavy with fog. It's kind of like God is telling me that he knows exactly how I feel, and that in fact, he feels that way too. 

Missoula Half-Marathon

I ran, or should I say, I hobbled the Missoula Half-Marathon this morning. It was awful. Seriously awful.

It all began well, unless you consider the extreme levels of anxiety I was feeling all day Saturday and then this morning. I just felt ill-prepared for this race. I'd missed a whole month of running due to that heel thing, then I was sick and missed another few runs. The longest run I logged in training was barely 8 miles, and yet, I knew I could do it. I've done it before and I thought it would be fun to run with my friends. I had no time goal, only to finish and to have fun.

I was okay until about mile marker 4. Then my right knee started to hurt and feel, at times, like it wanted to give out. When I stopped to walk, it felt better, and would for a bit after resuming running. But I was discouraged, I didn't want to run/walk this thing I wanted to run it. And my knee hurt, I contemplated quitting. It was around mile 5/6 when I tried to convince my friend Sonja (She's the one on the far left in the picture) to go ahead because I certainly wasn't going to help her reach her time goal. She did, running off ahead of me, and I felt the tears start. I knew I couldn't do this and I looked at my watch to see what the real time was so I could call Erik to come pick me up on the side of the road.

But then, I looked up, and there was Sonja running back to me. And she stayed with me, through every walk break that continued to get longer and more frequent as my knee hurt worse and worse. I wondered if I should stop, but by the time I hobbled to mile 11 I knew I wouldn't. She kept encouraging me and smiling and being positive, I knew I couldn't quit on her. I was going to finish it, even it it hurt every step. And it did. By the end my only goal was to run across the finish line--I wasn't walking no Half-Marathon finish line! I did even though by then my whole right leg hurt like heck.

I am grateful I finished it, I can at least say that. But this race was so horrid, I'm seriously thinking I might be done with half's. Who knows what I'll think in 6-9 months when its time to start training, but for now some nice easy hikes and lifting some heavy stuff sounds pretty good!

I know I wouldn't have finished without my dear friend Sonja and I'm extremely grateful for her perseverance and selflessness to stick with me. Thanks girl, I love ya!

edited to add: my official time...

2:34:50 pace 11:50

Hiking the "L" (again!)

 This time we hiked it with our good buddies, Yvonne & Becca and their children. Becca also watched a baby boy of another friend of ours during the week, so in all we had nine children in all and we each wore one in a backpack on our backs.

It was actually perfect to have all those kids. They stayed ahead of us the entire way up the trail and we didn't hear one whine or complaint.

All three little guys were pretty happy at first, too.

Here they are, trekking along ahead of us.

We saw lots of pretty flowers this time, some that weren't in bloom last week on the hike.

At a few points the kids would stop and rest, but as we got closer to them, they took off ahead of us again.

My town

Me and little Kellen. He did so good, didn't cry or fuss at all. He actually seemed to just be taking it all in while we hiked.

Us at the top.

Sidenote: I look like I'm squatting to take a dump. I wasn't. For some reason I thought I needed to kneel to be in the picture since I was the only one standing, I guess I didn't realize how far out the guy was who took the picture. I would've been fine to stand.

Once we got to the top, we had a snack before heading back down. It was pretty windy and cool up there at the top so I let baby Ethan use my sweatshirt.

Once he was warm, he fell asleep on the way down the trail. It was hilarious how far over his head was hanging, but he didn't wake up. Yvonne and I were really slow on the way down, the kids and Becca got quite a ways ahead of us, but we didn't want to fall and our legs were so tired. Hiking with a kid on your back and the added 20-30lbs really changes hiking--my legs felt like jello.

On the way down, Yvonne and I saw these beauties....

Bitterroot flowers! 

My favorite!!

I think these things are so pretty. I'm glad her and I were taking our time behind everyone, I probably wouldn't have noticed them had we been with the kids.

See that pink bunch in the lower right hand corner?

Another one.

Then, we saw the sheep. No sheepdogs this time, though, much to the disappointment of the girls.

The kids all waiting for us to finish. 

We all had a great time, hope we do it again. Well, the hiking part, maybe not the L. I think we need to give the kids some variety!

School's Out for Summer!

Today is a good day.

It was the last day of school for my girls. 

Kera, on the start of her last day as a 1st grader. My how she's grown!

She's excited!

And Lindsay, my almost 4th grader. How did that happen? 

Seriously, I remember 4th grade still, how is it I have a kid that age?!

She's so stinkin' cute.

They both are.

Cuties.

We packed a picnic lunch and met a bunch of friends at a local park after school got out at 11 a.m.
We ate and the kids played, it was fun and wonderful to have sunshine after weeks of rain.

The girls and some of their friends decided to play in the spray park area despite the fact that they hadn't brought their swimsuits.

This park has an old fashion merry go round.

At one point my friend Yvonne called me over to take some pictures of her one year old in the water. At first he seemed to like it....

Isn't he adorable?!

But that didn't last long!

It wasn't super hot, so the girls got cold. Here's Kera trying to warm herself in the sunshine. Her dress is soaking wet at this point.

It was a fun afternoon and a great way to get this thing called summer vacation started!!

Woohoo, bring on the fun!!!

Way Outnumbered

I spent the day over at my friend Yvonne's house. We watched a couple of other friends' kiddos for a few hours while they went shopping for some new birthday clothes. So it was her and I plus three little boys, one littler boy and 2 baby boys. It was pretty interesting, but overall the kiddos all did great and it wasn't overwhelmingly chaotic at all.

I am so grateful that I have a "job" that I can help my friends like that. :-)

At one point all the bigger boys were sitting in a row on the couch watching Dora, and I had to get a picture of the calmness and quiet.

A day on the slopes

The weekend of my nephew's birthday, some dear friends of our family were in town to visit. They've been friends with us ever since my parents moved in next door to them 34 years ago. (If you do the math, I was not quite born yet). Craig and Ginger may as well be part of our family--their kids too--and it was wonderful to see them and introduce them to my family.

Since Craig is a ski instructor, Austin's birthday became a ski day and we spent Saturday up at SnoBowl, a local ski hill. Half of us skiied and the other half hung out in the lodge, which was super busy but still fun. Lindsay and Erik went out for 3 hours or so, without a break and by the time they closed the lift, Lindsay was one tired kiddo!

Amari & Kera, waiting for pizza

Tanya's boys

The birthday boy and his buddy

Me, Sissy and Tanya

Ginger wanted a family picture of the original five, so here we are. I cannot believe how tall Hodd is compared to us all. And I wish I would've done my hair.

Ginger makes a mean red velvet cake, and so that's what Austin got for his birthday cake. We are singing in this picture.

And then eating.

Hodd saw Ginger hanging out with Kera and made this comment, "She was probably like that with you." And when I turned to see this, it totally warmed my heart. That is how Ginger was with me and it was soo cool to see her with my kids. How wonderful when you've got friends like that. It was pretty cute, Ginger and Kera planned that for Kera's birthday this summer, we'll spend it in Seattle with Ginger's family, the two of them will bake a cake and then Kera and Ginger's daughter, Amie, (who make some absolutely beautiful birthday cakes) and Kera will make it look cool. I'm kinda thinking that is a wonderful idea. It would be great so see Amie and her family, too.

SIssy, Brutha and Me.

I sure do love my family.