Shepherding My Children

 We've had a pretty rough week around here last week. There were some things that came out in one of our daughter's behavior that we had to deal with. Nothing too serious, but something we couldn't just let slide. And instead of her accepting her punishment and moving forward, she was stuck in a pit of self-pity and woe-is-me.  She'd been given some punishment at school (missed recesses) and we gave her some at home (grounded from the computer for 1 week). But she was not showing any brokenness over her behavior and so we had to take steps to put a little more pressure on her.

I told her if she continued to whine and moan about her life being miserable and how she hated her teacher (totally disrespectful) that she'd get more things taken away. She continued and so she was grounded from playing with friends for a week. It was a rough afternoon of talking to her, sharing scripture (Hebrews 12:11) and calmly, but firmly telling her how it would be if she continued down the road of self-pity and disrespect. At one point she was asking what else I could do to her, (because losing computer and friends was big) and I told her that I'd keep taking things away, like her books, toys, etc until all she had left in her room was her bed. She asked if I cared what people would think if I did that, and I said no. And that's the truth, I don't care what other people think, all I care about is that I'm shepherding the heart of my child, whatever it takes to get through to her heart. I care about what God thinks, since he's the one who has given me (and Erik) this task of raising our children to love and serve him.

Thankfully, it wasn't much later after that conversation that she broke down and apologized to me for being disrespectful and mean. After that she was like a whole different child. I hope that she's taken some things to heart about respect and repentance. 

a get well card L made for K a while back

But dealing with this situation has really re-instilled my convictions about how important this job of parenting is. I've been reading this book, Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp. I've actually read it before when the girls were really young, but I decided that it would be worth reading again. It's a great reminder to me about how to deal with them at the heart level and to not just address their behavior. And that is a tough thing to do! Don't get me wrong, my kids are generally good kids, but "folly is bound up in the heart of a child" (Proverbs 22:15) and God has commanded us to impress his commands onto our children and raise them up to love him. (Deut 6). That's a full time job! Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says, "These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." Raising my kids to see God's love and his plan for their life is seriously a full-time job, I'm to be doing it all.the.time. That can be overwhelming to me, but then I remember that I'm not in this job alone. Obviously, God is here and I've been blessed with an amazingly spiritual husband, but I also have the resource of a wonderful church family. Not only do I have some amazing women in my life who have been in my shoes before that can give me advice, but there are some wonderful examples for my girls' in the younger women in our church.

another side of that get well card. I love that they love each other!

A couple weeks ago we had the great opportunity to attend a wedding of a young couple in our church.   I was excited for my girls to see this wedding because it was going to be a celebration of how God intended relationships to be. This couple had dated/been engaged for a year or so and yet their first kiss would be as husband and wife. They had followed God's word and had remained pure through their whole dating/engagement.  It gave me goosebumps to watch that wedding, and to see the pure joy on the grooms face when he saw his bride for the first time. It was breathtaking. And I'm so excited that my girls can see great examples of purity and integrity like this in a world where those things are rare. I want my girls to be saved from the heartbreak and sorrow of the worldly way of dating. I've experienced the ugliness of what relationships outside of God's plan are like and I have every intention of raising my girls in a way to hopefully save them from that pain.

 I think parenting is probably the toughest job I'll ever have, but I love my girls so much, I wouldn't have it any other way and I'm grateful that God has entrusted these two wonderful girls to our care.

Looks can be deceiving

So, remember the other day when I mentioned the missing teacher over in Sidney, MT? Well, it doesn't have a happy ending. :( It's been announced that she's dead. Although I didn't know her, my heart breaks for her friends and loved ones, it sounds as if she was an exceptional lady. There hasn't been a lot of details released, so we aren't sure what exactly happened to her, although there are two suspects being questioned, so it sounds as if there was foul play involved. It's troubling to think that something as horrible as this could happen in a small town like Sidney. It might be just me, but I tend to think small town=safety, but that's not exactly the case. It doesn't matter what size a town is, there is no guarantee that evil things won't happen. People are people no matter where they live, and let's be honest, people are capable of evil. We live in the world, and according to the bible, in 1 John 5:19:

"We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one."

That's why bad things happen, because we are currently living in Satan's domain. This is his turf and he's in control down here. The sad truth is there is no guarantee for anyone that bad things won't happen to them or the ones they love. It's just the sad truth.


But there is an uplifting truth, too, and that is this world is not all there is. Satan might be in charge down here, for now, but that is not the end of the story. Psalm 108:13 says:

"With God we will gain the victory, 

   and he will trample down our enemies."

With God, there is victory because we know how the story ends, just like any book, just flip to the end of the Bible. In Revelation 19:20 it tells us, 

"But the beast was captured, and with it the false prophet who had performed the signs on its behalf. With these signs he had deluded those who had received the mark of the beast and worshiped its image. The two of them were thrown alive into the fiery lake of burning sulfur."

I don't know about you, but its really nice to know that the good guys ultimately win in the end. It really helps get through the days when it seems like that is not the case. And another thing that helps me, is to remember that I can't see the big picture of life, I have no idea what the grand scheme of things is--all I can see is what is directly in front of me. But God knows, he can see the whole big thing, and even though I may not know why something happens, whether it be something good or something bad, I have faith that there is a greater purpose at work.  

Romans 8:28

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

The Atonement Child

The Atonement Child by Francine Rivers

This book tells the story of Dynah, a young woman attending a Christian college, whose life is dramatically changed in one terrible moment. She's raped, and after refusing the morning-after pill, discovers she's pregnant. She's pressured by friends, family and school in different ways to either end and continue the pregnancy, but she doesn't even know what she wants. She's torn and can't understand why God would even allow this to happen to her. But as she realizes his plan for her and moves forward in her life, she not only strengthens her own faith, but helps change those around her as well.

I really enjoy reading anything by Francine Rivers. She's an excellent story-teller and has a wonderful way of bringing God into the story in a way that isn't cheesy or weird. Her exploration of the issue of abortion in this novel is eye-opening and heart-wrenching. It didn't really change my convictions on the subject, but it did open my eyes to the fact that it's probably affects more people than I realized. Also, Dynah's personal and spiritual growth throughout reminded me several times of the story of Job in the Old Testament. It was a great reminder of how God is always there, even when life is at its hardest. 

One aspect of this novel that struck a chord with me, was Dynah's treatment at the hands of supposed Christians. Without giving away too much about the story, I'll say that the folks who should be the most loving, forgiving and (for lack of better word) spiritual, are the ones that treat her the worst and pressure her to get the abortion. It really irked me, yet, I could see it. Her Christian college reminded me in a lot of ways of the one I went to, and how rampant the hypocrisy was. It makes me sad to know that some people's only exposure to Jesus' love is through these religious people. 

Anyway, this novel was excellent--stay up til 11:30 p.m. reading kind of excellent. It would be one of my favorite Francine River's books so far. 

Have you read this book or anything by Francine Rivers? What did you think? Did it change your thoughts on any serious issues, like abortion?

Beautiful and Loved

I had to take a drive today, about an hour south to a smaller town, to pick up the quarter beef we'd recently put some dibs on. That's just where the steer lived his life and where he died, so it's where he was butchered. I had a pretty clear schedule today, so I took the opportunity to spend some time admiring the beautiful valley south of us while I gathered our meat.

I really wish I would've remembered my real camera. It was so beautiful  with the clouds, changing color trees and snow-kissed mountains. What passes for a camera on my cell phone really did not do it justice.

As I drove, I turned on the radio and sang along. I love being in the car alone and being able to sing at the top of my lungs. No one else really likes to hear my singing-if you could call it that. Lately I've been drawn to  the Christian radio station more than any others. It inspires and encourages me, but I also like that I can listen to it with the girls in the car and not have to worry about what lyrics they are singing--they are all good!

It was so refreshing to listen to the encouraging music while admiring the beauty around me--I could almost feel my heart lifting. It made me think that I need to make more time to just be still and think about all the ways God loves us.

This was one of the songs that just spoke to me this morning. How easily we forget that God thinks we're beautiful and his opinion is the only one that matters!

I am reading a book right now about security, which is something that we as women struggle with quite a bit. I am learning about how we need to anchor or feelings of security and acceptance onto God and not all the others things we try to measure ourselves against. It doesn't matter what others think of me or even how I feel about myself. What matters is that God loves and cares for us, and here's the part that gets me--he loves me no matter what I do.

And this song is one of my absolute favorites right now that says just that:

And now I not only do I feel refreshed and ready for the day ahead of me, but I have a freezer full of meat (including the tongue!) to  enjoy!

Crazy Love

I recently read this book, "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. It seemed liked all the women in my small group at church had read it, or were in the process of reading it, so I figured it had to be sorta good and decided to give it a go. I really got a lot out of this book and it seems like I read it at just the perfect time, too. I love it when God does that.

The author suggests looking at corresponding videos on Youtube with each chapter, but I only actually did that once. The video was good but I felt like it sort of just went on and on and on. I'm also more of a visual learner, so actually reading and taking notes does more for me than hearing someone speaking. So, that's what I did. I would read a chapter, making notes in it as I went (I love marking up a book). Then, once I finished the chapter, I would go back through my marks and take notes in my journal. I really got a lot out of the book by doing this. I have a tendency to read things quickly and not spend a lot of time "digesting" what I'm learning and then it doesn't always stick with me or make a huge impact. So, I'm not sure if it was because I spent more time inmeshed in the lessons here or if they were just that impacting (again with the impacting), but I did really learn a lot with this book.

I think the one thing that stuck out to me the most, though, was this: God loves me more than I can ever comprehend and all he wants is for me to love him back. He wants me to simply, love him and by extension, to love others. How do I express this love? Through my life, and more specifically, my actions. 1 John 3:18 says, "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."

So, how do I act? What can I do to reflect this love? Well, for me, it was a call to revamp the way I spend my time. Time is one of the things God has blessed me with and I realized that I was being selfish with it. This life I live isn't about me, it's about God and my time needs to reflect that. Practically, I decided that I was wasting too much time on stupid things that really don't matter (like all the random Facebook games or sitting through a dumb movie) and so I cut those out. I also decided I need to make it a priority to utilize the opportunities to serve that our church organizes. Another big one for me was to work on just letting go of my schedule a bit--to be more flexible to the people and/or opportunities God might put in my path in any given day. Instead of being focused on my to-do list, to look around more at the needs that I might be missing.

Reading this book helped to remind me to think about what really matters, which isn't actually whether my house is clean or dinner is on the table. To quote Chan, "The thing that matters most is how we use what we have been given, not how much we make or do compared to someone else." And it's not easy, it's not like floating down the river. Living a life of faith requires swimming against the current--in order to grow close to God we have to deliberately pursue it and pay attention. And these trappings of life that I can get so caught up in, really don't matter, what matters is that I make it to heaven and bring as many of my friends and family with me as I can.Colossians 3:2 says "Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." 

So, if you are looking for a spiritual challenge or need a reminder of just how much God loves you, check out this book, you won't regret it! :-)

My Mom

In honor of Mother's Day, today, I wanted to dedicate this post to my Mom.

I am so grateful to be able to call her "Mom".

From the very beginning up until now, she's always been there for me, to soothe hurts, wipe tears and calm fears. 

She's taken care of me when I'm sick, when I was a kid and even last week!

She's loved me extra hard when I wasn't feeling loved by others. 

She's spent hours of time sewing me clothes, dolls and pillows. Or painting something beautiful for my house or children.

She's cooked me thousands of meals, probably, and taught me so much about how to be confident and successful in the kitchen.

She's shown me that you are never too old to learn something new and that it's good to challenge yourself.

She's always been more than willing to take my kids for short (or long) periods of time so that I could go to the doctor, out to dinner or even to Mexico.

She has been the epitome of support, especially when I went through labor with both girls and during the rough times afterwards. 

There are so many other ways that my Mom has shown her love to me through the years, it's hard to consolidate them down to a simple list. All I can say is that I know I am loved, there has never been a doubt, and for that I am so grateful. 

Thank you Mom, for your love and support all of these years! I love you so very much!

Impacted

I majored in English way (way,way,way) back in college and in the process of earning that degree, I got to take some really great classes. Like Modern European Lit, Poetry, Creative Writing, and American Lit. I also had to take some not-so-great classes like Grammar (I am horrible at grammar, so don't look too closely at my sentence structures here!), English Lit (Chaucer about killed me), Shakespeare (I confess: I love literature but do not enjoy Shakespeare. Is that just wrong, or what?!), and Literary Criticism. Part of why I didn't like some classes and loved other ones was partly been due to the professors who taught each, but even if my favorite prof had taught Chaucer I still wouldn't have enjoyed it! Mostly my like/dislike was based on my enjoyment of the subject matter. I had to take two different Literary Criticism classes, because let's face it, when you are an English major at a liberal arts college, all you really do is read a ton of books and write papers on them, which basically boils down to critiquing them. And although I loved reading books and writing papers on them (well, I loved the reading part) I have horrible memories of the Literary criticism classes.

It was the last class of the day and I can distinctly remember the anxiety/pressure I'd feel after getting an homework assignment, that I'd run lap after lap at the gym where I worked out. The act of learning how to critique literature was for some reason really hard for me. I am pretty sure I did fine in that class and most every other one, so maybe it was all in my mind. I think it is a learned thing, though--the be able to read something and look past the words on the page to see a deeper meaning or greater truth beyond the black and white, whether the author intended it or not.

I titled this blog entry, "Impacted" because it makes me laugh. I was in a class, one of my favorites, where we'd sit around in a circle and discuss the reading assignment from the previous class. The professor mentioned that whenever he heard a student say they were, "Impacted by something they read," it always drew to mind the medical problem of being "impacted"--if I remember correctly it was because his wife was a nurse. I thought that was hilarious because back in those literature classes students used that term "impacted" a lot. Ever since he told us that, I think of that every time I hear someone say that something they read or heard impacted them. (Bonus points to anyone from NNC who can name that professor!)

But sometimes its the correct word to use because what we read can have an impact on our life. Take for example, The Bible. It obviously does and should have an impact on our life. When I am reading it, I get grateful for all those classes in college to help me read into the text, because I think I "see" so much more than I would've just taking things word for word. And the cool thing about the Bible is that you can read the same text at different times and get something totally different out of it.

Here's what is "impacting" me right now...

I'm part of a group of stay-at-home mom's who get together for a bible study once a month on Friday mornings, and we're studying out the Wife of Noble Character in Proverbs 31:10-31. So I've been reading that text the past couple mornings and I'm amazed at what God is showing me and I thought I could share it with you.

This is what stood out to me on first read:
Proverbs 31:15 "She gets up while it is still night..."
verse 17 "She sets about her work vigorously..."
verse 18 "...her lamp does not go out at night."
verse 27 "She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness."

What do all those verses have in common? This woman is a hard worker! If you read the whole text in chapter 31 about the Wife of Noble Character it talks about how she cooks/feeds her family, sews, invests, etc. She's like the ideal woman. How on earth could she "do it all" so well? These verses that I listed above show us how--She's probably organized in her scheduling. She gets up early and stays up late--she doesn't waste any of her time. The Bible says she "does not eat the bread of idleness." This made me think about how I think I don't have time to do it all sometimes, yet when I really scrutinize what I'm spending my time on, I realize that I'm "eating the bread of idleness". Yikes, that stings.

Because I am in the special situation of being a stay-at-home mom whose children are in school all day, I have a pretty flexible day. I definitely have work to do, but it's done pretty quickly without the kiddos underfoot. And the cool thing is, if I clean the house in the morning, it stays clean. (At least until the girls get off the school bus!). So it is actually possible for me to catch up with all the to-do's on any given day. Usually I have workouts, coffee times, bible studies or other appointments scheduled in there too, so that doesn't happen all the time. But still, I should be able to be caught up more often than I actually am. Why? Because I'm wasting time. It is so easy to sit down with my lunch and the laptop and start off reading blogs and checking in with friends on Facebook, but then it's hours later, my lunch long gone and I'm still at the table with the laptop. That, my friends, is me "eating the bread of idleness". And it's time for me to stop.

So, what, am I suppose to "work" all day long with no breaks? No hobbies? No! I think for me, it is realizing that there is a huge difference between being lazy/wasting time and relaxing/doing a hobby. Think about it this way:

What do my kids/husband gain when I spend my free hours playing some stupid game on the computer? Or watching Youtube videos? Or watching soap operas? Nothing.

Now, what do they gain if I've spent that free hour or two putting together our family scrapbook? Or reading a book that helps me be a better wife/mom? Or writing a novel/poem?

What about my friends? I could be making and/or writing in cards to give to friends/family and encourage them. I could be blogging a new favorite recipe that will be just the thing another Mom out there is searching for to make dinner tonight.

Those things are all still a break from the "work" of being a Mom, but they are so much more rewarding, not only for me but for everyone around me. Time is a gift that God has given me--I am so grateful to not have to work a 9-5 job outside of the home and I want to make sure I'm not taking that time for granted. So, I'm going to start working on being more like the Wife of Noble Character when it comes to my free time.

What about you? Have you read anything lately that's "impacted" you enough to make you want to change something? Have you ever read Proverbs 31? If so, what did you get out of it?

A few thoughts...

It's a new month. Well, as of yesterday it's a new month. And I am grateful. Looking back on October, it felt very....blah. I can't really pinpoint a main reason or even a main thing, the whole thing just kind of weighed me down. Which is weird, usually its my favorite one, for several reasons. Not this year, however, and so I am extra grateful for November. There is just something about a fresh, clean start that really encourages me. Not that I don't have that option everyday, (Thanks to Jesus), but for some reason, when the calendar coincides with my renewed motivation, it just seems right.

And so I'm back on track, mostly. I finally feel healthy after that cold/flu thing I had, so I'm jumping right back into working out and let me just say, Jillian kicks my butt in a workout video pretty hard. I was sweating buckets yesterday after her Blast that Metabolism (or something like that) workout video. I can't even fathom what it would be like to workout with her in real life! Kind of makes me a little sympathetic to those Biggest Loser folks. (Which, by the way, I'm excited to watch tonight. that and Castle, which was on last night, are the only shows I'm really into this year.) Oh, sorry I digressed there, back to the subject at hand: Working out. And I went for a run outside today, which was awesome in the 50 degree air and light rain. It felt so good, too, for the first time no gimpiness anywhere, so I was thrilled. I love my runs outside because they help me think, too. I love that I live not quite in town and so I get to see more than just houses, it is refreshing to spend time in God's creation and helps remind me why we are all here, anyway.

I'm back on the eating wagon too. Actually, I've never left that wagon, in fact I've been really good at eating lately. What I mean is that I'm back to tracking all my calories. I've got a little over two months before Erik and I go to Mexico, and I want to make as much of a dent in my weight loss battle as possible before we go. I know I can't reach my goal, but any progress I make will be encouraging, so I'm trying to plan meals with more intention towards healthiness and log every single bite.

In other parts of my life, like my "job"  and my relationships, I'm trying get back into it as well. I've figured out a little better use of my calendar and time and planning and all that to try and make sure I'm doing more productive things before the lesser productive things. I tend to go all or nothing (ha ha, see a trend?!) as in I spend all day at home doing absolutely nothing, being by myself, or I'm out and about all day hanging out with friends and letting my laundry and dirty house pile up or, I'm so focused on cleaning and all those things that I don't do anything fun or hang out with anyone. Right now I'm working on balancing those things so that I get a little of each every day, but making sure to prioritize correctly. (i.e. my quiet times and workouts come before blogging, facebook or even scrapbooking.)

So, even though I'm working on quite a bit right now, it feels good. I feel refreshed and energized and motivated and I love it when those are the feelings coursing through my head and heart. How about you? Are you working on anything? Today is a new day, its as good a time as any to start something fresh and new. :-)

A Few Thoughts on Faith & Montana Spring

A typical Montana spring looks something like these two pictures, taken only days apart. The first one, the sun is shining, my crocuses are open and happy.

The second picture is what I woke up to only a few days later. It's almost April but we're still getting showers (not rain, but snow) and it still gets down to 20 some degrees at night. What a beautiful spring, eh? :-)

So I'm reading a book entitled, "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World" by Joanna Weaver. I just started yesterday, but I really like it so far, it really speaks to my struggles of late. Its all based on the story of Mary & Martha, the sisters that had Jesus to their house and one (Martha) scrambled around doing all the preparations while the other (Mary) sat at Jesus' feet and listened to him teach. One part in the first chapter talks about putting the cart before the horse. The cart is "work" and the horse is "worship". She says that if the horse doesn't come first we end up pulling the cart ourselves and it makes us frustrated & weary and liable to break under the pressure because there is always something that needs to be done. I have totally felt that way lately, "weary and frustrated" so this book is like a breath of fresh air and I'm excited to gain more insight from it and hopefully to change so that I stop putting the cart first all the time.
On another note, I'm doing something that I said I wouldn't. I'm making a goal (again) to run the half-marathon this summer. I know, I know...I make this goal every year and never follow through. Well this year will be different. There are three or four of us tinkering with the idea and at least one other gal who is willing to do the long runs with me on Saturday mornings. I think this is finally my year to follow through and accomplish something I've been wanting to do for a long time. So, I'm off to do my long run. I had intended to go outside, but there is snow on the ground so I guess I'll be bonding with my treadmill & my mp3 player. :=) Happy trails!