Irony

One of my light purple crocus made an appearance today.

In other news, I have an ironic short story to share with you.

We all know that any good story has some character development, so let me give you a little background on our main character. Let's name her "Kendra".

Kendra doesn't like surprises, she likes to know exactly what is happening and when. She likes to be prepared for things. She doesn't do spontaneous very well. She's also a stickler for following the rules, she doesn't like to rock the boat too much. She is a mother and loves her children fiercely, she's determined to watch out for them and help them be their best. She doesn't work outside the home, but embraces her "job" as mother. She strives to be involved in her kids' lives, which includes being active in volunteering at their school. Although Kendra is intelligent, and her hair is technically brown, she'll freely admit to having "blonde" moments and her lack of common sense. She gets caught up in her thoughts and imagination which means she's oblivious to what is going on in real life around her sometimes.

Okay, so here's Kendra's story:

One grey and rainy spring day, Kendra woke up feeling tired and run-down. The weather seemed to match her mood perfectly. She got her kids breakfast and drank a couple cups of coffee, but couldn't quite shake the "blah" feeling. She took a shower and got ready to head into the school to help out in her oldest daughter's class, determined to make something out of the day.

It wasn't very far to the school, and she found herself zoning out as she drove the familiar roads through the neighborhood. Suddenly she noticed that she was going a tad bit too fast, which isn't like her at all. She hit her brakes to slow down. She hated it when drivers blasted through the road by the school or even through her neighborhood, it brought out the "mama bear" in her. Then, as she slowed to a stop at the four way stop, she realized the car parked almost directly across from her was a police car. She hoped he wouldn't pull her over for her right turn signal which only worked spasmodically. And, then, to her horror as she made her right hand turn, the lights came on and he pulled up right behind her.

Seriously? She shakes her head and pulls over. 

The officer comes up to her window, "Ma'am, I pulled you over today because you were speeding back there. You were going 37 in that 25 mph zone."

Kendra can hardly believe what she's hearing, "Are you sure? I usually really good about following the limit because my kids go to that school!"

"Yes, Ma'am, that's what I have you on the radar going."

"Really? I had no idea," Kendra admits as she remembers that she was zoning out pretty well back there. She cannot wrap her head around the fact that she is probably about to get a ticket. 

She fumbles through her purse and car for her licence, registration and proof of registration and hands them to the officer. He walks back to his car and she sits there, focusing on breathing in and out. She can feel the tears threatening and she clenches her fists. She will not cry.  She says a quick prayer, hoping maybe God will give her a miracle and she won't actually get a ticket. She starts to wonder how long it takes a cop to write a ticket, forever? She's due at the school like five minutes ago. And now she starts to feel mad.

The police officer shows up again at her window, he's taken off his sunglasses now, "I did have to write you a citation, ma'am, but I did write that you were going 34 in the 25, that will help you out quite a bit. You don't need to make an appearance in court to pay the fine if you don't want, there are more instructions on the back. Do you have any questions?"

"Okay. No."

"Alright, ma'am, have a nice day." 

Sure. she will, this ticket is just what she needed to make her day! She thinks as she pulls away, careful to use her blinker and watch for traffic. She only has a few minutes before she gets to the school, so she steels herself not to cry even though that's all she wants to do. She has to go lead some kids in book club, there's no way she's gonna go in there all red faced from crying, besides she's already late, she doesn't have time to cry right now.

Half an hour later, she's back in her car and looking at the ticket. All she can think about when she looks at it, is how unfair life is. She says it to her kids all the time, but she's living it right then. How is it that she can be so conscientious about following the rules of the road, particularly the speed limit, and yet the one day when she's totally not paying attention to it because she's feeling "blah", that's the day a cop is staking out her route? She feels the anger bubble up in her, she can't believe that she of all people gets a ticket for speeding when she sees drivers speeding through that area and others everyday! Where are the cops when she's being passed in the neighborhood while she's following the limit? Or when she's being tailgated through the school zone?  Seriously, this is totally unfair. 

She ends up crying as she's driving home. She's just so mad that she can't hold it in any longer. She feels bad that she was speeding through the school zone, but she's even madder at the unfairness of it all. She is not about to set food in the court and give anymore of her time to the thing, so she calls the court to find out how much her fine will be and how she can just pay it and be done with it. Seventy-two dollars, that's what her spacing out will cost her. 

Her husband comes home from work not too long after she gets home. She's not sure how he'll respond to it, but when he asks how her day is, she says, "Horrible."

She starts to cry again as she explains to him why it's horrible. When she's done telling him the whole story, he asks what her fine will be. She tells him through tears.

It's then she notices that he's laughing. And teasing her, "Well then stop speeding," and "Don't be so hard on yourself, it's not a big deal."

Then, he tells her a story about how he'd been speeding through a school zone the other day on his way back to town. Right about the time he noticed how fast he was actually going, he also noticed a cop and that the cop was looking directly at him. The cop started to flip around to tag him, so he pulled off the road really quick, pulled in behind a bar/restaurant, parked and went in as if he was going in for breakfast. So he got out of a ticket.

And that my friends, is the epitome of irony.