Where did November go?

Someone please tell me, is it seriously already the 19th of November? As in a week before Thanksgiving? I am having a hard time believing that, it just feel so early for that. I guess the time sure flies when you're having fun, either that or the weirdo weather we've been having has really thrown me for a loop. Anyway, its been interesting around here.

I went to Waco, Texas last week, actually left here Friday morning and returned Monday evening. I went with my parents and sister, which was nice. Despite living in the same town and only a couple miles away at that, I hardly ever see them, so it was good to have that time with them. Unfortunately, the reason we went down there was for my cousin's funeral. That was sad. He was only 31 and whenever a child dies before a parent, its sad. It's just not the natural order of things. It was good to see my aunt and her daughter and the rest of their family. My dad's side of the family has never been very close, so I didn't have a ton of memories of my cousin, but that kinda made it even more sad. I heard all these other folks talk about how he was larger than life and just a great guy and I never had the chance to know that. I told my aunt that we'd have to change that and make more of an effort to get together more often.

I returned home to a sick kiddo. Kera was all snuffly Monday night and then woke up with a low fever on Tuesday. She's had that fever in various intensities since then and has been home from school since then and actually will be home tomorrow. Even if the fever goes away today she's gotta be 24 hours free of it before going back to school, so she'll be home with me again tomorrow. She's not been super miserable, so thats good, and I've had a ton to do around the house anyway, so staying home with her hasn't been a huge deal. Day's like these make me super grateful that I have the flexibility I do in my "job". I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she doesn't develop an ear infection or something else and that Monday will bring a healthy little girl ready to go back to school.

I haven't talked about this much, I don't think, so it may come as a surprsie to some of you, but I must confess, I am a bit of a Twilight fan. I'm not one of those screaming gals fawning over Robert, I honestly don't think he's that handsome. And I don't claim to be on Team Jacob, either. But I do really like the story and I enjoyed the books and I am going to the New Moon movie tonight at midnight with a couple of girlfriends. I am really looking forward to it, too. :-) I promise, I'll let you know what I think of it.

Today

Today, 29 years ago, my cousin A was born, and in the most bitter of ironies, she will also be considered to have died today. In my view though, she's been gone since Wednesday or maybe even before that when her illness stole her from all of us.

On Monday, I will fly with my sister to Minnesota where we will say goodbye to her with the rest of our family. And then on Wednesday we will fly home, and here is where it gets weird, we'll return to life as normal.

Part of me is grateful that I wasn't around her on a daily basis, that I don't have daily reminders of her absence. Part of me thinks it would be harder to have those moments throughout the day where you go "oh yeah, that's right, she would've done this or said that". But then I feel rather selfish to think about how much easier it is for me instead of empathizing with her husband or children or mom or sisters, for whom this situation is so much more painful. Its when I think about the kids that it hits me. They will probably never remember being around their mom....they are so young still. And I think about her hubby and how hard it would be to suddenly be a single father of two and a widower.

But even without daily reminders of my cousin, there are still a ton of great memories of our families together: swimming at the lake, playing cards, family dinners, fighting with siblings, teen girl primping and even back to school shopping.

She will always be a part of my growing up. I just wish she would've been more a part of my adulthood. She will be missed.