A Mother's Duty

Had a talk with Lindsay this morning at the bus stop about how I need to stop telling her exactly what to do all the time--instead I need to let her figure some things out. She was right--I know the whole "love & logic" theory, and right now her decisions aren't going to be too big of a deal so I need to let her figure stuff out. She's starting to gain some independence and maturity and I need to allow her room to grow, I think. It made me kinda sad to think about my "baby" growing up. I know she's still only in third grade, but it's beginning--it's not like she's going to get less independent as time goes on. That's not the easiest thing for me to come to grips with! Anyway, it inspired a poem of sorts. It's still rather rough, but here it is...

A Mother’s Duty

For Lindsay



I can still remember insecurity

gripping my heart

that first day we brought you home.

“Now what?”

How do we “do this” with this sweet baby in our arms?

It didn’t take long to see you’d

changed everything.



You brought a new normal for us,

and a new role for me—

Mom.

It was new to me yet

I fell into it, as if it was something

I’d been born to do.

Not that being a mom was easy—

there were hard times for sure,

but it just felt right.



You helped define me--

I am wife and mother.

As you grew, my role grew with you,

I gained a little bit of freedom with each

step you took on your own

but you always came back to me,

grasped my hand.



Over the past eight years

I’ve worked, cleaned, and cooked,

But mostly, I’ve mothered.

So you’ll have to be patient with me

as we take this next step together.



I know my mothering can be too much for you at times,

smothering

as you grow the first sprouts of

real independence and maturity.

It’s hard for me to let you go,

even just a little,

so you can figure things out yourself.

I know my role is changing,

evolving from mother into friend,

but my heart still clings to you—my baby

and only wants to hold you closer,

protect you.



It’s against my nature to loosen my hold,

But I will try—I know I need to and

even more, that you need me to.

Because I am your Mom, I will

give you what you need,

cuz that’s what mom’s do

even if it’s painful

-Kendra Maurer